New Week Ahead!

Crazyness I am sure will abound. Everyone pray things don't completely go crazy!!

Day Before Turkey Day

Today is crazy. You wouldn't believe me if I told you everything that I have seen in the week and a half I worked this job. We work with alot of homeless people at my store. It smells, they are nasty and most of the time mad-at something. I'm telling you I have been so sheltered. You wouldn't believe what all you see.
I am so hoping for jtv to work out on monday. I am hoping that it is not just pie in the sky. It would be so fun!! Hosting a television shopping show would be so GREAT! Right up my alley, you know? I have an interview and a screen test on Monday and cannot wait. Please no surprise zits or new wrinkles!!
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and even though I have alot to worry about, I still do have a roof above my head, a nice warm car (x 2) and clothes on my back. Warm family, and a loving, adorable, helpful beyond my wildest dreams, sexy husband. I am so blessed. And even though I don't have my parents I do have his and they love me and my girls. Thank god. We have great friends who care for and love us. My life has many many blessings. Even through the bad times this year we have felt God's hand on us. Even with all the what seems like bad things they all seem to be God lead and are leading us His way. We are trying to follow....
Thankful so much for god's grace and mercy.

First Week Insights

Oh my goodness! This has been a very very long week. Thank goodness it is over. I am so tired and mentally worn out. I never thought this place could be any worse than some of my first jobs. But it has surpassed some of them on many levels.
Yesterday I had to do the unthinkable. I had to get in a van with another girl at 7:45 in the morning and drive to the day room (a homeless shelter) downtown and she hollared out the window looking for anyone who wanted to work to load up. Here they came-about 8 of them all black (if you know me you know I am NOT racist in the least) and male and carrying their belongings which probably have guns and knives and drugs. I slowly unbuckled my seatbelt and sat with my had on the door handle all the way back to the office ready to jump should anything break loose.
I was scared you know what. I had promised Donny that that would never happen and I would not do that, and what do I do? I was up til 3 when I finally woke him up and told him everything. I hate keeping secrets from him. He was mad but not at me. He hates that I am in the situation. It won't last long.

First Day of Work

It was very interesting today, I sat in an office in a room by myself from 7:30-12:00 I thought I was going to claw my eyes out! I read a phone book for heavens sake. I worked for the phone book, I KNOW what is in a phone book.....but I didn't know Knoxville had so much to offer....hmm.
I had a better afternoon cause we went on some sales calls, some good ones. I was soooo glad to get out! Desk work is pure purgatory for me, but today sitting working would have been a treat rather than sitting in a coat in a 40 degree room waiting to be "trained". I almost quit at lunch. It is going to fine though. I got a better feel for it this afternoon.
Came home, Donny had dinner ready and the house cleaned. Kids were settled for supper and a fire going. Love it. I just hope it can keep up even a little.
Taylor even loaded the dishwasher for me before I got home, hoping to please me. I rewarded her with lots of verbal thanks and a great big hug. I guess my heart to heart about helping me and stepping it up really worked. She can be great.

Fresh Cleaning

Took today to get my house ready for my new job. I mean I cleaned everything, blinds, windows, baseboards, under furniture, cleaned out closets, EVERYTHING! I leaving a clean slate. I meaning I am leaving my husband and two children here all day, everyday.... need I say more? I have informed my husband that I have had the house clean and dinner on the table every night through our entire 8 years of married life. (with exceptions of our once weekly eat out) That means through me working full time the first time while attending to his child in the afternoons and weekends, and then being pregnant for nine months and still working. That means through child number three's birth while caring for child one and two, every day caring for everyone, dinner and house still done. Um...am I making a point here?? I know I am a bit of a neat freak, but I just want things nice when I come home so I don't feel pressure to be up and doing things all evening, and visit with my kids. I am going to need some down time from this job. I am also going to miss my kids something AWFUL! I just don't know how to describe it, it feels like no one can care for them like me, even though Donny is a great dad, it's just not me. I know, I am SO type A.

YEAH! Good news Tuesday, I got a second call back from Jtv for host position!! That would be SOOOO great! It is so up my alley. Keeping fingers crossed.

Concerning mom and dad, still no word. They have not seen the kids in 3 weeks. "R" asked me today if we could just drive to the BP and wait and see if mommom would come. Made me almost cry. She said "I'm sure she misses me."

Donny took off to Greensboro to talk to more investors. Things are getting close to decision time again, and it is crazy. Let's just all pray this works. I would love to see his dream come to fruition.

Monday Monday

Busy day today, Kindermusik this morning and then finishing some shopping for my new career! Hmmmm....career? we'll see.
I had to go and sign the papers and get started with meeting everyone. I like the staff pretty well, but the hours and the hand holding are not my style. I have to be at the office by 7:30 each morning, and then report back after sales calls all day til ? Lots of micro managing! Yuck. Any of you who know me know that doesn't work. We'll see, hopefully this will be temporary or I'll love it.
I am trying to stay happy. Jack Daniels works real well. Just kidding. All the stuff with Donnys job,my mom and dad (the monster in the closet which has reared its ugly head again, hey,you can only keep a good monster down so long, huh?) and now the hand holding job,two toddlers, and a teenager-whew,Jack and I may need to become friends.
Oh well, speaking of friends, thanks for all the emails of support and love. I really need them. I don't mean to portray that I don't think all will not be well, its just that I am waining on the idea sometimes...don't we all?

Soccer and Shopping

Today has been a busy day, we have had soccer today with Taylor. This is tournament weekend. So three games today, and one tomorrow. Taylors mom is nowhere in sight. Burns me up! How can your child have an undefeated season and you not show to up to more than one game the whole time? I was there, with two kids to chase. She only has one. Give me a break.
I went and got some shopping for my work clothes, I haven't worn pantyhose in like 4 years. I have tights I will wear with boots in the winter, but honest to god pantyhose I own none. So there you go, my butt will once again be squeezed into those again, oh boy. One step at a time.....Like the new duds though, I love a good pant suit. Makes you feel good. I practically wear one all the time anyway, my darker straight leg jeans with a casual fitted jacket,shirt, and my black medium height slingbacks. Classic. It's my fav, and it is my uniform generally. I am a no frills girl. Sometimes I try to be, and it somehow doesn't work.

UPDATE SUNDAY
Today is Sunday, Taylor won her division county title today. They did great, it was the 3rd shutout of the weekend. (means nobody scored on them for their last three games)
This team was not used to losing, you could just tell. They had matching sweatshirts, bags, and the parents wore matching team sweatshirts. Taylor came over to us and said "do you see that? They think they are all that and a bag of chips because they match, and their coach told them in their huddle that they were better than us! Ha! Watch us!" and stormed off. It was hilarious. She ended up scoring on the hardest team they played all year for the first time all season. We were excited for her. Oh and by the way, her mom did come today, but stayed only about 1/3 of the game, left and went to her car for the rest of the time where she couldn't even see. She missed her getting her trophy at the ceremony directly afterward...what a loser. I don't care what the excuse, nothing would stop me from seeing "R" or "A" get theirs.

Friday

Just another friday cleaning in the AM, and then running out to get the girls from school in the early afternoon. All the girls had a friend over today and they all had fun. "R" cried when her friend left, and then Megan, "T's" friend stayed and went to the game tonight. Donny took all the girls except "A" and I stayed home so she could go to bed early, she has had a cold with a bad cough. She doesn't need to be out in the cool night air tonight.
I am going to go and start work on Monday, with my new job. I am nervous about doing a good job and staying on "task". It is so hard when you are a mommy. You have so many other things that are so much more important to focus on.
I love the picture I posted today on Saturdays posting of "R" and her big score! She was so proud!

Wednesday Wonderings

Past couple of days have been crazy. I am job hunting for a more suitable position before having to take the call center job. I have 3 to make a decision on. I am excited to have options. Especially at the end of the year when the pickin's can be slim. I interview well I think. Which I WONDER could be a bad thing? I could be protraying that I can be alot more than I really can. Well, maybe than I think I can. Three kids, a full time job, and a husband still working on his dream (which is exactly what I want) isn't exactly the ideal situation for me to start learning something new.....come on brain cells! get out of mommy mode!!!
I am so depressed about things, which are going to go unmentioned here for fear of disclosing too much about my insecurities. I just have SO much on my plate.
I WONDER, I keep saying that things will work out, but will they?and the answer to our prayers sometimes NO! I have to think that the Almighty would have to have a back up plan for us, in fact-I know he does.