Wishin' and Hopein' and Dreamin'

This waiting on the "real" answer is killing us all. We are jumping down each others throats and are a bunch of nervous cats around here. I just want to scream. We are ready to go, I WANT to go. We have told everyone, we are ready to pack, we have a house picked out, we have explored the schools, we've made the transition in our minds. Let's go!!!

I cannot even enjoy my remaining (?) weeks, months, here because we are in such limbo. If I knew I would just know and could kind of get with it. And if it's no, then we need to both find jobs, start preparing to move forward here. Or possibly somewhere else unknown to earn a living. I mean this is a once in a lifetime thing, and we have been dealing with this for a year. Then with the loss of his job before summer, it has been horrible. We are on pins and needles.

Donny and I have had REAL adjustments to make, and maybe the most has come from my end and my unreal expectations of him. I have to admit I still expect more from him then he can give at times. I expect him to have the feel like he is a part of team raising the kids and cleaning, but I cannot understand why he burries himself in his playstation but I think he is trying to block all this out and escape for a time. I know this is horrible for him. I cannot imagine how he must feel. I on the otherhand am throwing myself into the house and kids to drown out what is happening. My health has been affected, my mood, everything...but having him home is not always the underlying problem, we are moving past alot of those issues now. But having no "certain" future, and I say that in quotes because nobodys is certain, but we are hanging by our hoo hahs right now.

Please let us find out something FAST! But...let it be the answer I want it to be....what is that???? :)